Waiting
by HeathenVampires
Summary: When Valka feels her time is almost up, she makes a choice on how she wants to wait for the end. Contains HTTYD3 spoilers!


**IF YOU READ ON THERE WILL BE SPOILERS FOR THE HIDDEN WORLD. YE HAVE BEEN WARNED.**

**You will probably also have some feels. Also warned. Warnings for character death too. And suspension of science probably.  
**

**Anywhoooo**

**On we go.**

-HTTYD-

Valka knew. She could feel it deep in weary bones, relying more heavily on a staff to get up and about. Hiccup, bless his soul, had made her one that looked much like her old one, only a little shorter and sturdier to allow her to use it for walking. Hauling herself out of bed, she smiled as she heard a laugh outside, the recognisable sound of boot-metal-boot-metal that meant her son was nearby.

The cold got to her more than it used to now. Years in the ice caves and the sky meant she had a good tolerance before, but New Berk was warmer and she no longer spent most days flying, frigid chill settling into joints that were stiffer than she remembered. Valka knew if she looked into a mirror, it would show her hair was almost all white now, only hints of the old reddish-brown from before now her hair was regularly cut and maintained. Slipping a cosy knitted underlayer on, Valka quickly added a heavy fur layer too, already thinking of going to sit by the fire to warm herself.

"Morning mom."

Hiccup leant over and kissed her temple, beard scratching lightly at her skin, though he was better at grooming it than he used to be. She got the feeling Astrid was responsible for that.

"Good morning Hiccup."

The fire was already going, washing over her in a layer of warmth that didn't quite reach as deep as the cold did. Still, she'd adjust. She always did. Mornings were just harder than they used to be.

"Grandma!"

Excitable feet pattered toward her, though they weren't babies anymore by any means. Zephyr was fourteen, and every bit the fierce warrior her mother was. There was a mellow side to her sometimes, mostly drawn out of her by her little brother, the calm before the storm when Zephyr wasn't focusing on becoming the future chief. Because there was never a doubt with Hiccup and Astrid - their daughter was more than fit to inherit.

"He's still refusing to answer to anything but Nuffnut. I'm going to kill the twins."

Valka smiled to herself as she overheard Astrid and Hiccup talking, taking hugs from her two grandchildren. Their third - two years old and a surprise to everyone really - slumbered away in the corner crib. Sometimes Valka struggled to look at the crib. It was a perfect remake - it must have taken Stoick ages after the last one burnt - of the one Hiccup had been in. _That night.._.

"Grandma, what's wrong?"

Nuffink patted her cheek, his fingers coming away wet with tears she hadn't realised she'd shed. Hiccup turned, face tight with worry.

"Mom?"

"I'm fine my loves. Go on, eat up before Zephyr gets it all."

"Hey! I share!"

Valka stayed by the fire a little while longer, wiping her tears when she thought nobody could see until the lump in her throat had mostly gone down. It didn't help her surging emotions when she finally stood, little Nuffink's face turning toward her. They were close, she and her grandson. Even with the Hofferson blond hair, he looked so much like his father, and his fathers father - the ruddy freckles and rounded nose, green eyes just a little brighter than Hiccup's that reminded her_ so much_ of Stoick.

The snow had settled outside overnight, only a scant few footsteps between homes - the Haddock home started early, after all. Valka trudged, unable to help but let her feet guide her to the same spot, one she inhabited more and more each passing month until it became a daily occurrence. The rock she often sat on had been replaced by a tiny little bench with her name carved into the side.

She suspected Eret, but he denied all knowledge.

Eret was lonely too lately, she mused. They'd lost Gobber a couple of years back, and while many refused to put a name to what the two men had shared, Valka knew love when she saw it and had been truly happy they had the time they did - it was by pure chance and miracle the two even met. Eret had once been Valka's enemy after all.

"You ok Val?"

Gobber had picked up 'Val' from Stoick, and in turn Eret had picked it up from him. Valka didn't really mind. It was sort of comforting. The Sami brushed away a little snow, sinking down next to her and the sun caught on his owl pin. It was old, but Eret tended to it well and she could still pick out the details.

"I'm fine Eret. Just reminiscing."

There were lines around his eyes, his smile creasing deeper into his face than it used to but Eret's hair was as dark as it ever had been, his frame still broad and strong. Valka often felt nostalgic when he hugged her, one of the few men on the island actually taller than her. Watching her eyes dragged out to the horizon again, Eret let the silence stay, slinging a friendly arm around her shoulders and just sitting with her.

"I don't mean to interrupt."

The two pulled apart out of habit - there had been some rumours, ludicrous to her mind when Eret literally _lived _with Gobber, Sami decorations hanging in the blacksmiths and the two often found drunk in the corner of the Great Hall, telling ridiculous stories together. But Vikings were stubborn, in denial, and _awful _gossips.

"You know you aren't interrupting, Hiccup.

"Would you mind, Eret? I uh, wanna talk to my mom."

"Not a problem chief. Catch you later Val."

Hiccup watched Eret go with a fondness in his face; he'd appreciated the happiness Eret brought Gobber more than anyone else, she was certain. Then her son was taking Eret's spot next to her, wincing as he did so - the cold bothered his leg more and more as he aged. Not uncommon, but obviously uncomfortable.

"I found this. Well actually, Nuff found it, because he's a menace who didn't understand 'no' when I said he couldn't go through your stuff to find your drawings."

Valka smiled for a second; Nuffink might be the quieter Haddock babe, but he was definitely as she remembered baby Hiccup and was always getting in to things he shouldn't if Zephyr wasn't there to keep an eye on him. Her smile fell when she saw what was in Hiccup's hand.

"Oh, Hiccup, I-"

"Hey" his hand landed on hers, Hiccup shaking his head "I get it. I came to tell you I agree."

"W-what?"

His face was one of a strange mix, like pity and love and something a little untangible in his eyes. Her eyes caught the little scar on his chin, barely visible but she'd never forget recognising her boy by it.

"You... I... I know I wasn't there for you. After they left. I was so broken up about Toothless that I didn't even realise how much harder it had to have been for you, losing Cloudjumper. I mean, he was your whole family for twenty years. And I know you wish you'd been here when I was growing up, but... my point is, we can't change the past, but you deserve to choose your future. If you want this, then go. I'm going by myself this time anyway."

"You are?"

Hiccup nodded, eyes a little sad.

"Astrid can't leave the baby, and Zeph is doing an acting chief run. Nuff won't go without her. It's different for them though. They're not used to them being there daily... some mornings I hear a bird on the roof and I still think it's Toothless."

"Some nights I go to light a fire and almost ask Cloudjumper to help."

Valka sighed, felt Hiccup lean closer, squeeze her tight.

"Then go. You deserve this. I'm all grown up mom. You can go with a clear conscience."

Part of Valka was afraid, she admitted to herself. She'd been too sick to make the trip last time, and when Hiccup returned, he broke the news that Cloudjumper hadn't been there. She hoped it just meant he'd known she wasn't there, but... Valka knew Cloudjumper was old, like herself. She might be making this trip in vain.

"When?"

"Three days. Spend time with the kids. I won't tell them until we get back... because I reckon they're the only thing that could convince you to stay."

Valka couldn't speak. She could only turn and throw her arms around Hiccup, hugging him with strength she'd forgotten she had. He returned it, his own eyes wet when they parted and Valka knew she was no better.

Somehow, she thought Astrid knew. It wouldn't surprise her if Hiccup had told her. Valka told almost nobody, though she did find herself confiding in Eret one night, when he found her in the Great Hall late on day two.

"You've been... different. What the Hel did you two talk about the other day?"

Valka almost lied. She did. But she and Eret were good friends, and he had the same feel that Gobber always had to him; the last of a different time, like Valka. Most of the Vikings who'd been adults when Cloudjumper took her away were gone now, the scant few hanging on like her - old, ailing, watching the next generations grow.

So she told him the truth. And rather than try to talk her out of it, Eret listened in his silent, steady way, before giving her his blessing.

"Hiccup's right. You deserve that. Remember, I saw you fight for the dragons in a way nobody else did, being on the wrong end of the fireballs for a time. Do what feels right for you Val."

"I'm glad you came around Eret. You're a good man."

Eret smiled, though like most times, it didn't quite reach his eyes anymore.

"Thanks Val. Don't worry. I'll keep an eye on the little'uns."

He was uncommonly good with children, and the youth of Berk adored him and his stories - while Zephyr and Nuffink held the closest claim to titling him 'uncle Eret', it wasn't rare to hear others yell it to him in the village. He might've been a stranger once, but Valka couldn't deny he was family now. Eret hugged her - the only one who held her to his chest, rather than the other way around - and pressed a kiss to her forehead.

"Just... be happy."

After another day spent with her grandchildren, soaking in their joy for life and love and family, Valka felt a sort of closure. Perhaps she ought to have felt guilty walking out on Berk, and by _choice _that time.

Her pain wasn't so bad the next day, and Valka pushed a myriad of 'what-if' thoughts to the back of her mind as she dressed, her old rattling staff comfortingly familiar in hand as she 'packed'. It wasn't so easy to do it without anyone noticing she'd packed more things than she needed for a short trip, but several things had been taken to the boat last night, hidden away. As Valka headed down, throat thick with tears as she hugged and kissed her grandbabies goodbye, she was surprised to see someone else adding a bag to their vessel.

"Eret?"

"Yep. Chief asked me to come" the Sami leant closer, voice dropping "he didn't want to sail back alone without you."

Valka felt her heart twist in her chest; Hiccup wouldn't meet her eye. Though she supposed there was time enough to talk on the ride. They didn't have to do this now.

Astrid squeezed Valka just a little too tight, her face unreadable as they looked at each other. The blonde was beautiful, and she loved Hiccup so very dearly, was such a strong, fierce woman. Valka knew Hiccup would be a lot more lost if it was Astrid in her place, choosing to leave for good. But then, Valka had been away so long.

And here she was again. _Leaving._

"Tell Cloudjumper I said hi!"

Valka had a smile for her grandson, little Nuffink hugging her with a beaming grin... watching Nuff grow up was like getting to see Hiccup grow up in a way. Kissing the boys soft blond hair, she turned to hug Zephyr, who was wearing the chiefs cloak and already standing up straighter for it.

Finally, they were on the ship, the climb down to the docks harder than she remembered but excitement urged her on, heart fluttering in her chest as the boat floated away from Berk. Hiccup was silent for the first hours, focusing on going the exact right way first. At least, that was his reasoning. Eret tried to engage him a couple of times, but Hiccup was not interested and after a while, Eret focused on putting together their travel-meal.

It wasn't until nightfall that Hiccup finally spoke. Eret was completely out, his snores rumbling through the little cabin.

"Will you miss me?"

"Oh Hiccup, of course I will."

He rolled over in his little fur pile, eyes catching a sliver of moonlight.

"I guess I just... got used to you being around."

Valka turned to face him properly, Eret still snoring.

"Hiccup, if you want me to come back with you-"

"No. I mean... I do. But I want you to do this too. I get it. If I didn't have Astrid and the kids, I'd probably think about staying. Of course, then I'd have no chief heir, so I guess I _couldn't _leave."

"I don't want you to be sad son."

Hiccup frowned, though she barely caught it in the darkness.

"I'll be sad without you, but I'll be happy _for_ you."

The next night was easier, a little dark ale and a few funny stories between the three of them easing some of the tension. Slowly, slowly, they got closer. Valka thought she even saw a dragon or two high in the clouds.

"Hey buddy!"

Toothless - apparently a touch wary the very first time they did this - leapt forward, barrelling into Hiccup's chest with a joyful roar and Valka felt a knot in her chest relax a little. Something in her just... needed to be around dragons. The Light Fury was nearby, Stormfly puttering about next to a few young Nadders on a nearby rock. Eret hopped out of the ship, heading over to the dragon that first really changed his mind - the one who saved him from Drago. Valka couldn't scuttle along the floor like she used to, but she managed to remind the Light Fury she wasn't a threat, felt smooth scales press against her palm and smiled at the sensation she'd missed for a while.

Even so, Valka couldn't help but notice...

"He's not here."

Hiccup turned toward her, his face confused and sad.

"Hey bud... where's Cloudjumper?"

Toothless blinked, looked at Valka for a minute, twisting his upper body and rumbling a sound toward his mate. The Light Fury seemed to turn and pass it on, Valka's heart positively straining to escape her chest until she heard it.

"Cloudjumper!"

His Stormcutter roar was distinctive, swooping down through the wall of cloud and foam the humans did not try to cross. He realised the boat was too small for him, scooped Valka up in his claw and scooted her over to the rock, wrapping her in his wings and roaring happily. The speckled orange of his horn had faded a little over time, but Valka thought he'd never looked so vibrant and beautiful.

"Hello old friend. I've missed you so."

"Skullcrusher! You big ugly beast, c'mere!"

Valka laughed as she saw Eret bowled over by the Rumblehorn, the juvenile Nadders hopping all over the floored Sami excitedly. Cloudjumper purred as Valka petted him, waggling his wings, nudging her with his head.

"You want to go flying, is that it?"

"Well that was our plan. I just need to check on Toothless' tail."

Meeting Stormfly's little clutch was enchanting, chittering and chirping at her, fighting to get to the human hands. Baby dragons were _so_ affectionate.

"Don't give me that look, I've never flown without a saddle!"

Skullcrusher mocked Eret before giving a little dragon laugh as his rider got up hesitantly, Cloudjumper lowering his head so Valka could climb up. She was not as limber as she was, and dared not use her staff for fear of not being strong enough to haul herself up, but soon enough she was settled, feeling much like the young woman who was first learning to fly, so long ago.

"Everyone ready? Wings up!"

The wind in her hair, the sound of wing flaps either side of her as they rose, Eret's joking complaints and Hiccup's joyful laughs... Valka felt _peaceful, _no pain or cold bothering her as they soared. Cloudjumper appreciated that she was no longer the acrobat, but then neither was her old boy. His feather-like scales still moved like water, agile and easy as they dipped in and out of the clouds. Cloudjumper turned his head, roaring laughter at the old joke. Stormfly followed them, her little children struggling to keep up at first but getting the hang of it after a little while.

She felt years younger by the time they came down, legs a little shaky from the rush and unable to help from giggling, as giddy as a teen girl again.

There was a mood dip in the air, felt even by the dragons who peered around at the humans while Toothless and Hiccup communicated a little ways away. Resting against Cloudjumpers warm belly, Valka dozed for a little while listening to her dragons heart beat.

"Mom?"

She roused to Hiccup's voice, Cloudjumper shifting slightly as the Alpha approached.

"Yes son?"

"Now, I don't exactly go word for word, but from what I understand, Toothless said he can show you the Hidden World, but you can't officially move in. There's a few cave networks nearby you two should be able to set up in, and he'll tell the dragons you're safe to be here."

It was about what they'd expected anyway - even Hiccup wasn't allowed to go in to the Hidden World often, and he was best friends with the Alpha. But Valka... oh, she wanted to see it just once.

"Stay with the ship, Eret?"

"You got it Chief. Come on you guys, lets give the Haddocks their family time."

Valka had to climb up behind Hiccup, safe only on the Alpha's back for this trip.

"Hold on tight. Seriously."

They dived, the _sound_ incredible as they passed through the waterfall at the edge of the world, eventually levelling out and diving through the initial cave structure. Valka couldn't decide where to look, turning every which way she could to drink in every detail. After a time, the colours shifted and her eyes turned to Cloudjumper. The white speckles on his horn were bright blue, the patterns of his wings and scales coming alight in shades of orange and green and pink, but she couldn't work out where the light was coming from.

There were new sounds, new dragons, babies and eggs and funny little structures _everywhere. _She couldn't take it all in, dizzy with joy as Toothless grunted admonishments to a few nearby dragons, eventually bringing them up to land on a large crystal coming down from the... ceiling, she supposed. It was hard to work out which way was up. Many dragons eyed them warily, but Toothless stayed right by their side, Hiccup laying on his belly and pointing things out to her from their vantage point.

Valka chuckled to herself that at least dragon flying meant very little fear of heights.

"Is that..."

"Drago's Bewilderbeast? Yep. I don't know what happened to him, but the dragon was here when we first found this place."

There were Light Furies all over the place, more still with that peculiar mixture that Hiccup called 'Night Lights'. Almost none that she saw had the same markings, some with black paws or black bellies, others almost all black with a light blue belly or tail fins. Some had the Night Fury fin shape, the protruding scales along the back. Others had the slimmer shape of the Light Furies, but it warmed her to see Toothless had mated and passed on his dark scales, the Night Furies living on through them.

Valka couldn't contain it all, seeing species she had no name for, wondering how many species had lived and lost down in the Hidden World. She'd seen so many, and yet there were _more._

"This is... thank you. Both of you. For showing this to me."

Toothless wiggled happily, Hiccup smiling.

"It's amazing, isn't it? I don't know that I could have let him go so easily if I didn't know he had this to come home to."

Valka was introduced to a few of the guardian dragons by Toothless, greeting a Rumblehorn, a Timberjack and a very, _very_ wary Scauldron. Each one only let her touch them after Toothless gave them a look that made her think of a scolding parent.

Reluctant to ever leave, Valka watched the colours light them up again, trying to drink it all in once more as they left, night well and truly fallen, Eret having set up a fire while they were gone, and some very smug little Nadders had put a pile of fish next to him.

"Figured we'd better set up camp, and I was hungry."

They bunked down, and Valka could barely sleep that night. Hiccup was burrowed in under Toothless' wing, Eret buried under slumbering Deadly Nadders. He'd have some fun stories for Astrid back on Berk. Cloudjumper was sleeping on his belly, though she knew it wasn't comfortable for him he didn't want to go find somewhere to hang. Valka missed sleeping up with him.

Maybe she could learn again.

When dawn broke, Hiccup insisted on helping find a cave network for Valka, as though needing to know she'd be sleeping somewhere a wave couldn't just wash up and get her on a turbulent night. Cloudjumper immediately approved of the cave they found by gripping a rocky outcrop, swinging upside down with a smile.

"So... I guess this is it."

"Well, I'll see you when you visit next."

Hiccup nodded, tears brimming in his eyes and Valka felt the same question on her own tongue - would she even be there?

They hugged, both crying freely for a moment.

"Oh Hiccup... I have loved getting to know the man you became."

"I'm glad I found you. And I'm glad you stayed. And now... I'm happy you two are back together."

Drawing away and wiping his face, Hiccup turned to Cloudjumper, who dropped down and shuffled over to the Berkian Chief.

"You... take care of her. And if" his voice cracked "when it's her time, I need you to do something for me."

"Rroww?"

Cloudjumper cocked his head, questioning. Hiccup picked up Valka's staff, holding it between shaking hands.

"Bring this to Berk. I know it's not easy, but I don't want to _not_ know before we come back."

Cloudjumper bumped his head against Hiccup, nodding as best he could.

"Thank you."

It felt so wrong and yet so _right _all at once, standing surrounded by the dragons as she watched Hiccup and Eret sail off. Part of her heart definitely went back with her son, but Valka had lived so long with the dragons.

It was where she belonged at the end.

* * *

Hiccup didn't know if he'd expected it or not.

It had been less than a year when Hiccup found the staff in the snow. For a minute he didn't even register what it meant, only realising when he looked up and saw a shadow in the clouds. Then it hit him, the memory of what he'd asked Cloudjumper to do.

It wasn't Cloudjumper who came to him though. It was Toothless and Stormfly, the Light Fury and Skullcrusher. They landed on the cliffs edge, heads bowed, the Alpha warbling sadly. Hiccup felt a warm hand in his, choking on a sob as he turned into Astrid's embrace, the staff in his other hand rattling slightly with his shaking.

"It's ok love."

"You can go. I'll stay."

Zephyr offered, having followed her mother to where they saw Hiccup go.

"Don't you want to say goodbye?"

"Of course, but someone has to stay here on Berk with Bryn, and we both know dad is gonna go. Which means you're going too mom."

Hiccup looked up, seeing his daughter straighten up, every bit the future chief. Much more than he'd ever been before events conspired to push him there regardless.

"I... are you sure? Someone else can take over."

"Not on my watch. Go on dad. Say goodbye for me."

Hiccup had never been less enthused to ride on Toothless, Astrid and Nuffink at his side on Stormfly. Eret asked if he could come, and Hiccup never considered saying no - he knew the man had grown close to his mother, especially in the time between losing Gobber and now. The trip was much faster on dragon back than sailing, but part of Hiccup wished they could have put it off for longer.

Cloudjumper was curled up next to her, and Hiccup couldn't believe he was saying it, but his mother had never looked so _peaceful. _He knelt down, feeling the chill on the skin of her cheek and reaching for the wrap from his bag. The dragons had already done half the job - Hiccup wondered if they'd learned from the Vikings as he saw the ship. A dim memory of his fathers stories told Hiccup that many a ship had vanished into the Hidden World. So it wasn't surprising they had one to hand.

He wrapped his mothers body, swallowing thickly as Eret helped lay her on the boat. He laid the staff next to her - it was _hers,_ undoubtedly - and stepped back, Astrid's arms around his shoulders as Eret and Skullcrusher shoved the ship, Nuffink holding his hand.

"Should we... oh."

Hiccup looked up, picking out the Berkian dragons at the forefront but recognising more he'd met the same day he first found his mother - Barf and Belch alongside Lump, the Snafflefang missing one of his hind legs and Hookfang alongside a shimmering Changewing Hiccup recognised as Incognito, who was so stubborn he almost never appeared for anyone but Valka.

There were _hundreds _of dragons, the air more crowded than Hiccup had seen in years. She'd touched so many dragons lives, saved thousands. It was fitting they came to say goodbye. Cloudjumper led them, his usual explosive flames toned down to breathe a soft, starting flame on the ship. Astrid was speaking behind him, possibly funeral rites but Hiccup barely heard it as he watched the melding of human and dragon goodbye.

He couldn't think of anything more fitting as a farewell to his mother, who was more dragon than woman at heart.

When his father died, Hiccup hadn't had the time to truly grieve at first. Now? He sank down and watched the flames, added to by more dragons as Cloudjumper circled, a flying sentinel watching his rider - though that was a paltry word for the bond shared by them. Even Toothless struggled to bring the dragon back, and Hiccup wondered how far the Stormcutter would have followed the smoke.

Cloudjumper landed down in front of Hiccup, warbling sadly. Hiccup rubbed his chin the way he'd seen his mother do.

"Thank you for taking care of her. Then and now."

They'd lost each other once already. Hiccup wondered how the dragon would manage losing her again.

Toothless took Hiccup up to watch the distant burning, but he couldn't look for too long. Nuffink and Astrid embraced him, two golden heads catching the late afternoon sun.

"Can you take us home bud?"

The Night Fury nodded, twisting to look at Cloudjumper, who was defiantly looking away in a clear show of "I'm not leaving" that even the Alpha didn't want to argue with. Eret leant down and whispered to Skullcrusher, who trotted over to the Stormcutter and sat next to him. Hiccup felt a fresh well of tears - his mother and his fathers dragons. Together and alone.

"Mind if I hitch a lift Toothless?"

They flew up, mindful that Nuffink didn't hit thin air too fast and Hiccup cast one last glance into the distance.

"Let's go home."

* * *

Being able to watch over them sometimes felt like a blessing, and other times it felt like a curse. Valka longed to soothe their sadness, to celebrate their happiness. Running fingers through her hair, the reddish colour restored for reasons she didn't truly understand, Valka felt him stand at her side, heavy hand on her shoulder as they observed, silent watchers of the living. She'd never wish to hasten the reunion between them, but that didn't stop Valka missing each and every one she'd left behind.

Worst to watch was Cloudjumper. Valka often wondered if she'd been selfish to have those last few months with him, only to leave him behind so soon. The other dragons tried, gods bless them, but Valka knew her dragon was oh so lonely without her after their time together.

The ship sailed in, route familiar and well travelled though the sails were changed at random to ensure nobody followed the lone travellers. Toothless, beginning to show his age at last, climbed a little more sedately onto the ship to greet Hiccup, nuzzling the hands of the three Haddock children. She saw Hiccup look around, ask a question that made his dragon hang his head, saddened.

Valka closed her eyes, hearing heavy footsteps replaced by rustling wings as one moved aside for the other. Turning around, her heart soared as head fins flared, fingers mapping the large horn and its little speckled bumps.

"Hello old friend" Cloudjumper cooed, wings wrapping around her in greeting "want to go flying?"

She'd never have to wait to ask again.

-HTTYD-

**This took me like eight hours, most of which was spent overly emotional.**

**So I hope someone, somewhere enjoys the gut-wrenching feels I poured into this. **


End file.
